Discussing finances with your children is quite a controversial subject to say the least. therapists feel your children should not be involved at all in the family finances yet if they don't learn at home how are they going to learn. I think it's essential for you to share things with the children in order for them to learn that there are reasons they cannot have every single thing they want. Failing to do so can create a sense of resentment in your child who will begin to think you are deliberately denying them things they want even during Christmas and their birthday.
another mistake parents make is to begin given them the information and then at the advice of one of these :professionals" they stop sharing. This then creates the sense of abandonment and causes the child to accuse the parent(s) of lying about the amount of money they have. No, children do not need to know how much money you have in the bank nor do they need to know how much money you pay in bills, but they do need to know why they can't have a new video system or game and why you can't afford to buy them designer clothing.
Another important issue in sharing finances with the children is so they will develop a sense of monetary responsibility. How are they going to learn money isn't endless unless the parents teach them the value of money? If you are out of work, they need to understand there is not as much money coming into the household as there was when you were working. Perhaps I am old school but I do not believe in shielding the children from the facts of life. Parental teaching involves showing them how to stretch a dollar and the experience they can can from seeing you do it far exceeds anything they can learn from books or other teaching that is not hands-on.
How much do you tell the children? It depends on their age. Of course you are not going to tell a three year old much beyond the basics. However, a preteen can absorb and understand much more and should be treated accordingly. Answer the basic questions--you don't have to go into detail but you shouldn't tell them "it's none of your business" either. Share enough so they understand why they can't have everything they want without providing more details than they are capable of understanding.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Surround Yourself with Writing Ideas
As a writer I often hear other writers complain about having writers' block. Is there really such a thing? I know many professional writers who claim there it does not exist and is just a matter of a writer being able to define those ideas that are in his or her head. After all the world around us provides plenty of ideas if we just put them to work for us. When you walk out the door of your home or office you should always be on the lookout for ideas you can use in a story or article.
No matter where you are always make certain you have a way to jot down notes even if it means leaving yourself a voice mail or text message on your cell phone. Sound silly? think how silly it would sound for you to return to your destination and try to remember the idea that was in your head. If you are driving and unable to use your phone keep repeating the idea until you can pull over to the side of the road and record it after you move to a safe spot. Some of the best story ideas are lost to the wind because the author did not take the time to jot it down. The beautiful red sunset that indicates fair weather for the following day can add an aura of description to an event in your book or scene in a short story. The more ideas you are able to develop the more you will be able to write.
Sometimes writers' block occurs because as writers we think we have to sit down for hours at a time and write. Real life issues come into play and we lose the momentum and sometimes don't get it back for days. Learn to take advantage of each moment--if you only have five minutes use it wisely. Write a few paragraphs or write down your ideas for an upcoming chapter or scene. If you get into the habit or looking at everything around you as part of the big picture you will have less problems with writers' block and actually write more often.
No matter where you are always make certain you have a way to jot down notes even if it means leaving yourself a voice mail or text message on your cell phone. Sound silly? think how silly it would sound for you to return to your destination and try to remember the idea that was in your head. If you are driving and unable to use your phone keep repeating the idea until you can pull over to the side of the road and record it after you move to a safe spot. Some of the best story ideas are lost to the wind because the author did not take the time to jot it down. The beautiful red sunset that indicates fair weather for the following day can add an aura of description to an event in your book or scene in a short story. The more ideas you are able to develop the more you will be able to write.
Sometimes writers' block occurs because as writers we think we have to sit down for hours at a time and write. Real life issues come into play and we lose the momentum and sometimes don't get it back for days. Learn to take advantage of each moment--if you only have five minutes use it wisely. Write a few paragraphs or write down your ideas for an upcoming chapter or scene. If you get into the habit or looking at everything around you as part of the big picture you will have less problems with writers' block and actually write more often.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Should You Self-Publish?
One of the most important decisions any writer may have to make is whether to self-publish his or her first book or take the time to look for a traditional publisher. While it may take time to find a traditional publisher that is willing to take a change on someone who does not yet have a track record to prove whether he can make money for the publisher, there are a few who are willing to take the chance. The problem is there are so few in today's market especially with the average publishing house only choosing a maximum of 20 new authors annually.
One problem that plagues new writers is they are too anxious and are not willing to wait. they automatically assume they will not be published by anyone because they have been rejected by the first four or five publishers they contacted. If you talk to any author who has books on the bookshelves they are likely to tell you they were rejected by more than five publishers before they found one that was willing to take a chance. In addition attempting to go in without an agent will create even more frustration.
Does that mean you should never self-publish unless you have tried the traditional route first? There are instances when self-publishing may be the only alternative such as if you have a book that falls into a niche market meaning one that only attracts a limited number of readers. A publisher is not going to take a chance on a book that will not appeal to a widespread audience, so these types of books are best served by the self-publishing industry. In some cases this may also include poetry anthologies as well.
At one time self-publishing was believed by many to be an industry that was only frequented by those who were not good enough to be accepted by traditional publishers. While that is still true in some cases, there is also the problem with market saturation: more authors are looking for publication than the publishers can include in their current publications. Some authors may wait two or three years to see their book in print because of the number of books a particular publishers has contracted to publish.
this information can cause an author who has never published a book to just decide from the start to self-publish without even trying. While the book may be good it will not necessarily create the potential for future traditional publication the author is expecting. One reason this happens is because in the haste to have their book published, many authors choose vanity or subsidy presses instead of self-publishing. True self-publishing means you do everything yourself, maybe even setting up your own UPC codes on your books. Vanity or subsidy publishing involves paying someone else indirectly for these services with no control over the costs. While the terms have become interchangeable, an author needs to know how to recognize the difference.
if you do decide to self-publish you need to make sure you research the company first--I recommend using Preditors and Editors, Writer Beware and Whispers and Warnings. While all three sites may provide some of the same information, you may find different companies on each one thus it's a good idea to check all three before you make a decision. In addition, if you see the same company listed in all three places it should provide a red flag for you.
One problem that plagues new writers is they are too anxious and are not willing to wait. they automatically assume they will not be published by anyone because they have been rejected by the first four or five publishers they contacted. If you talk to any author who has books on the bookshelves they are likely to tell you they were rejected by more than five publishers before they found one that was willing to take a chance. In addition attempting to go in without an agent will create even more frustration.
Does that mean you should never self-publish unless you have tried the traditional route first? There are instances when self-publishing may be the only alternative such as if you have a book that falls into a niche market meaning one that only attracts a limited number of readers. A publisher is not going to take a chance on a book that will not appeal to a widespread audience, so these types of books are best served by the self-publishing industry. In some cases this may also include poetry anthologies as well.
At one time self-publishing was believed by many to be an industry that was only frequented by those who were not good enough to be accepted by traditional publishers. While that is still true in some cases, there is also the problem with market saturation: more authors are looking for publication than the publishers can include in their current publications. Some authors may wait two or three years to see their book in print because of the number of books a particular publishers has contracted to publish.
this information can cause an author who has never published a book to just decide from the start to self-publish without even trying. While the book may be good it will not necessarily create the potential for future traditional publication the author is expecting. One reason this happens is because in the haste to have their book published, many authors choose vanity or subsidy presses instead of self-publishing. True self-publishing means you do everything yourself, maybe even setting up your own UPC codes on your books. Vanity or subsidy publishing involves paying someone else indirectly for these services with no control over the costs. While the terms have become interchangeable, an author needs to know how to recognize the difference.
if you do decide to self-publish you need to make sure you research the company first--I recommend using Preditors and Editors, Writer Beware and Whispers and Warnings. While all three sites may provide some of the same information, you may find different companies on each one thus it's a good idea to check all three before you make a decision. In addition, if you see the same company listed in all three places it should provide a red flag for you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)